Saying goodbye

So tomorrow we say one last goodbye to my dad. It is such a strange feeling esp since it has been since January that I have been stalling / waiting to bury him. I have been waiting a so many months to bring dad's remains to where he asked them to be placed bc I didn't think the cemetery was up to the standards I wanted for my dad. The cemetery is on the Cranston / Providence line and looks like it has seen better days.

When I was growing up - every holiday my dad and I would leave mom at home cooking what ever feast was planned for that day and we would venture to the cemetery to say a prayer for my Grandmother and then later for my Grandfather. At the grave was also my Grandparents and Great Grandparents. My older cousin's name is also listed on the stone but he was buried at sea.Dad when I was a kid - being a goof ball sitting in front of the TV with chips and a soda.

Back then it was clean and well tended for. I admit, I haven't visited in years - till this year - I drove through the cemetery many time this summer and cried every time. It was no longer the pristine resting place for loved ones. Some of the areas of the park have trash and/or landscaping waste. I have seen plastic shopping bags, untrimmed sites, and some plots that are living memorials for person's resting there. I didn't think this was the right place for dad. A place where time forgot. But then again, I guess I forgot too - I hadn't been to visit my grandparents in years.

Abbie sees the cemetery near our house as a clean and neat place. A place where we take walks - talk about remembering the people we have lost and how families leave prayers and flowers for those in heaven.

But this messy cemetery is where dad asked to go - to be with his mom and dad. So I did it - I made the call and set the appointment. Dad and his Mickey Mouse decorated box are going to rest with Grandma and Grandpa Barker tomorrow. We will bring flowers, prayers and some tears. But this time I need to make the promise to myself and to my dad that I won't forget to visit. I want to make sure we keep his resting place clean and neat.

I love you dad and I miss you every day.  Please watch over the girls for me.